What do you do at wakes

You can even plan it now, decades in advance, so your loved ones don't have to worry about it later. Learn more about advance funeral planning. What is a Burial Plan? Do Veterans Get Buried for Free? How Much Does Cremation Cost? Remembrance Quotes Guide. How Can We Help You? Return to Top. Wake vs. Viewing vs. Funeral: What's the Difference? Want a guide to proper funeral etiquette? Get emailed one for free. Funeral Etiquette First Name. Last Name. Zip Code. Phone Number. By submitting this request, I consent to receive telemarketing calls and text messages on behalf of StoneMor Inc, including calls and text messages made with an autodialer or prerecorded voice message, at the telephone number s above.

I understand that my consent is not required as a condition of purchasing any goods or services from StoneMor Inc, and that I may withdraw my consent at any time. What is a Funeral? Why Have a Funeral? What is a Viewing? Why Have a Viewing? What is a Wake? Search by State. Viewing: What's the Difference? Funeral - Who Leads? Funeral - Formal or Informal? Viewing - Focus on the Significance, Not the Terminology The important thing to remember is that your presence at a wake or a viewing will be deeply appreciated by the family of the deceased.

Talk to other people in the receiving line. Depending on the type of wake it is, the casket holding the deceased person may be present. Be subdued but not somber — you can chat with the people near you, since that's a key part of what wakes are for. Pay your respects to the deceased if the casket is present. If you wish, you can kneel down to pray at the casket for a moment.

As you approach the casket, there will often be a place where you can leave sympathy cards or other gifts for the bereaved. If you have them, that's where they should go.

Tailor your conversations to suit the nature of the wake. Wakes can vary greatly in regards to atmosphere. Some will include more joviality, with happy stories about the deceased. Others will remain more solemn in nature. If they are smiling and laughing, you can as well but respectfully. Give the bereaved simple, but not trite, words of support. As you approach the grieving family members, introduce yourself as needed. Speak briefly and compassionately, and tell them how sorry you are for their loss.

If you are at a loss for words, don't offer a canned response. Instead, simply offer those grieving a hug or a shoulder to cry on if they need it.

Instead, say something simple and supportive, like "I feel fortunate to have known Mark. I am sorry for your loss. Listen attentively and sympathetically. Wakes, like funerals, are for the living, not the dead. While bereaved loved ones are sometimes quiet and reflective, often they are eager to talk quite a bit about the deceased.

Never force them to talk, but if they do want to, listen and pay attention to them. Share pleasant memories or just pleasantries with other attendees.

Talk fondly about the deceased if you knew them well enough to do so , or just listen to their stories and smile. If so, you can look at these with others and say: "Hey, I remember that!

You may be asked how you knew the deceased by other attendees. Keep your answer simple, like "We volunteered at the same organization. He was a great team leader.

Method 2. Dress conservatively in subdued colors. You don't have to wear black, but this also isn't the time to wear the wildest, brightest thing you own. Blacks, greys, browns, tans, and muted blues are all acceptable. In terms of types of outfits, think of what you might wear to a wedding, but with an even more muted color palette.

Everything should be clean, pressed, and simple. Shoes should not be athletic shoes, sandals, or very high heels. These rules apply to children, too. Avoid neon colors or bright reds, yellows, and oranges. Likewise avoid clothing with cheery prints like flowers or bold patterns. Likewise, it would be rude to go causal and wear jeans. Arrive at your convenience, but with the bereaved in mind.

Wakes often last several hours, so that everyone gets a chance to stop in. At the same time, though, it's disrespectful to be in a rush to leave. You might even offer to help set up beforehand or close up at the end. Enter the wake venue quietly and soberly. Turn off your cell phone or set it to silent before you enter so as not to cause any distractions. Then, politely thank any greeters or anyone who opens the door for you.

This is considered to be a way to honor the deceased person and to get closure. People can even touch the body if they find this to be comforting. Greeting The Family The primary purpose of a wake is to offer comfort to the family members. The Atmosphere If you are accustomed to a formally structured funeral service, with songs, eulogies and scripture, the unstructured atmosphere of a wake might take you off guard.

Remembering The Deceased In contrast to other kinds of post-death rituals, the focus of a wake is on sharing positive memories of the deceased person. Common Questions If you have been invited to attend or participate in a wake, you may be curious about what you can expect, especially if you have never attended one before. Here are the answers to a few common questions.

How Long Does a Wake Last? Traditionally a wake is held in the evening before a funeral service. It can last anywhere from two hours to six. The length often depends on how many people are expected to attend. This is completely up to you. Should a Child View an Open Casket? As a society, we have become much more relaxed than we used to be about dressing up. In general, jeans should be avoided unless you have nothing else to wear. However, darker or muted colors are more respectful for the occasion.

What To Wear Wakes tend to require less formal clothing than other traditional rituals, like funerals. In general, stick with neutral or muted colors. Avoid anything ostentatious or showy; keep it simple. Try to stay away from bold prints, and stick with comfortable dress shoes. Here are a few other guidelines regarding dress. Men A suit is always a good choice for men to wear at a wake.

Dark pants with a polo shirt is also a good choice. Wear a belt and avoid flashy or excessive jewelry. Women For women, conservative attire is best. A dark skirt paired with a formal topo also works. Children The rules regarding proper attire for children are much more relaxed that what is expected of adults. Avoid casual hats or clothing with words on it. Funeral Wake Etiquette Funerals and wakes are the kind of occasion in which manners are important.

Who Should Attend Like funerals, wakes are usually open to the public, especially if they take place in a funeral home.