Funeral etiquette how long to stay

Highly recommended. One of the worst things that a grieving person faces is the void left by the death of someone they loved. When you see a person who has lost a loved one and you turn away, say nothing, or avoid talking about the huge gaping hole in their lives , you add your cold shoulder to that feeling of emptiness.

Instead, just say something. Share a story or memory. Express your condolences and your own grief. Answer: As mentioned above, the visitation is usually just that- a visit. Friends and family gather together to remember the deceased in a casual setting.

Sometimes there is coffee or cookies available, and also a guest book to sign. Because it is a visitation, the casket or urn may not be present, but prepare yourself for the possibility you are under no obligation to view the remains if you are not comfortable doing so.

A pastor or priest may give a short sermon towards the end of the gathering, or say a prayer or the Rosary if the family is Catholic. Answer: Generally speaking, yes. Visitations, wakes, and viewings are all informal gatherings before the funeral in which family and friends get together to socialize, mourn, and remember the life of a loved one.

But there are differences. Technically and traditionally, the main difference between a visitation and a wake or viewing is that the body is not present at a visitation.

Consider the words themselves. A visitation is a visit for family and friends…a special time set aside before the funeral to remember the deceased and visit with one another. In contrast, at a viewing , the emphasis is placed on doing just that — viewing the casketed remains or urn, so you can expect for them to be present.

A wake , on the other hand, has its roots in Catholicism. It is similar in structure to a viewing, but more religious by nature. A priest may say the Rosary toward the end of the Catholic wake to learn more about wakes, see here.

Ultimately, many people use visitation, viewing, and wake interchangeably. Expect the body open casket at a viewing. A wake may be open or closed casket, but the body will probably be present. And with the visitation, the body is typically not present, but sometimes the terms are not used precisely.

Answer: It is appropriate to spend at least 15 minutes at the visitation. This should give you enough time to sign the guest book, have a drink, and express your condolences to the family. You can stay longer as you feel is appropriate. How long you need to stay or should stay depends on several factors, such as how well you know the family, how busy they are, how much they seem to want company, and where the visitation is taking place.

You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so. You should be prepared for the deceased to be in the room with you, however, and for the possibility of an open casket, which is very common.

In many cases, a viewing is not a religious service, so there may not be a formal prayer said or even any type of formal order of events. This is simply a time for you and others who knew the deceased and his or her family to stop by and say a last goodbye. A viewing will often last for several hours and you should not feel obligated to show up at the beginning or stay for the entire time. Wear relatively formal, conservative clothing, and remember to give your condolences to any family members who are present.

You may want to stay for a little while to speak with other mourners about the deceased. If you do decide to view the body, wait for a moment when no one else is with the deceased — or stand quietly nearby until other people have finished so as not to disturb them. Take a few moments to stand by the casket. You may want to kneel, say a prayer, say a few words silently to yourself about the deceased, or simply bow your head for a moment of silence. There is no need to linger; simply spending a minute or two in silent respect for the deceased is perfectly fine.

For many people, the idea of a wake suggests an uplifting event, where people drink and toast the deceased. This type of wake is often held in the home of the deceased, with the body present, and friends and family are invited.

Everyone can share stories and memories of the deceased , as well as offering their condolences to the family. Depending on the family, it may be a largely religious affair. Wakes are similar to viewings, and part of good funeral wake etiquette is to have a few favorite stories to tell about the deceased and words of condolence for the family. Customer Care How Can we help? Live Chat 1 support perfectmemorials. Reviews Reviews Testimonials. Close Language. Toggle Nav.

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There will be a set order of events, along with a eulogy, prayers or poem readings, and often music. A visitation may sometimes be held in the families home, or during a specific time at the funeral home. The standard protocol for a visitation is to stop by, introduce yourself to the family if needed and pay your condolences, and then leave after a short period of time.

A funeral viewing is typically held at a funeral home and can be held for several hours or even days before the funeral. You should dress relatively formally for this occasion. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the body if you are not comfortable doing so. If you do approach the body, stop for a moment and say a silent prayer or stand quietly for a few moments.

Remember that there is no requirement for you to view the body, which will typically be present. If there is a funeral AND a visitation, should you attend both? It all depends on how comfortable you feel and how close you were with the deceased or the family of the deceased.

You may have been close to the person at one point in your life, but you drifted apart. If this is the case, consider attending the funeral. Show your respect for your old friend. Say a prayer or two.