Why fathers abandon their children

Both The Gottmans and Gurian recommend identifying a father figure in the child's life that they can celebrate an "honorary" Father's Day with. This could be a mentor, an uncle, a male friend, a teacher, a coach, etc. Contact this father-figure to see if they would be willing to meet with your child on Father's Day for a meal or fun activity -- perhaps even a "guy oriented" activity -- like a sports game.

Michael Gurian reminds that often children who have been abandoned need and subconsciously want to take care of other people, pets, etc. So, it is great if an abandoned child can be encouraged to care for a younger sibling, a pet, etc. As a rule, experts agree that it is important to make a conscious effort not to "bad mouth" the father -- but to stick as closely to the true story as the mother can.

A suggestion: Take some quiet time to write out on paper some "go to" answers for the child -- which are honest without being "bad mouthing. Another general theory shared: Although these men who abandon their children might be without conscience, it's important to find at least some positive aspects about them to present to the child.

For example, the mother might list some of the father's good qualities -- like how he's funny, good at math or talented at sports etc In this way, the child can find some positive aspects of their biological father to feel connected to.

The mother should keep in mind as comfort for herself that if a man can be so conscience-less as to abandon their own flesh-and-blood child, that this man might have been a less than stellar role model in the child's life.

This man's lack of compassion and over-loaded ego might have shown up in the family home in a negative way -- which might have negatively impacted the child, by presenting negative core values.

The mother should also know in her heart that a child is basically in search of love -- and a "loving, safe-feeling home. Karen's newest app "Instant Peptalk" has been hovering in iTunes top 5 apps for happiness. News U. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. My father visited me one day a year. How are things? He said nothing, changed the subject and did not call again for his annual visit..

As a man searching the web for answers, and i through my own experience see a problem not addressed here. What about those men who want to be fathers and the woman systematically pushes him away. Ignores your fatherly qualities, and would rather be a single mother? I had no choice but to stop trying, even against my better judgement.

Should i not get the time to heal and stay away from it all? What does a man in this situation do but become absent? Make sure, you have yourself together and established and go get rights to your child they belong to you!!!

I was abandoned will pregnant by the father who I loved. He left me for another woman who has recently had a baby too…we would have been pregnant at the same time. He has made no attempt to contact me since he left me last year. This is exactly what I was thinking when I read all these reasons. The woman has been busy telling the child every thing bad about the father and for him to stay is away is what many women want.

Btw, I am a woman. I have the same situation and am looking for the same answers. And my sons father got married and started another family before our son was even born. Sick of hearing the sob stories, stop choosing your mate on physical and financial options and maybe you will find a man. Low self-esteem, and letting the man get away with not supporting his child is the first. I am black, married, and have two boys. A man cannot get away with anything a woman does not want him to!!!!!

Please do tell…. Aside from chasing him around Asia — which is impossible… What do I do? My guy has left me because am two months pregnant with her child. Am soon planning to give his family a short visit, so that they will know that their dear son, will be expecting a child soon, courtesy of me!!!! Very insightful post. I really appreciate that you, Lamar and Ronnie, shared it and shed light on an important topic. There is absolutely no excuse that a man can give that justifies him abandoning his flesh and blood.

He nevermind finishes RICA but does that matters? In most states, a parent is said to have "abandoned" a child after a two-year period of withholding his or her contact and financial support. Abandonment can also lead to the loss of one's parental rights. However, a parent cannot simply choose or elect on his or her own to forfeit those rights.

In fact, even in cases of clear and willful abandonment, most states will not legally terminate a parent's rights unless there is another parent-figure, such as a step-parent, who is waiting to formally adopt the child.

Some parents who have withdrawn from their children's lives later recognize their mistake and wish to seek forgiveness and restore the relationship. In situations where the previously uninvolved parent is able to participate more regularly in the children's lives and has expressed a commitment to do so, the experience can offer some much-needed healing and restoration.

If the opportunity arises and you're not sure what to do, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor about your concerns before making a decision. Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy.

Child Welfare Information Gateway. Definitions of child abuse and neglect. Updated March Grounds for involuntary termination of parental rights. Updated December Darnall D.

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